Saturday, November 22, 2014

Papa Circus dekhne chale

Son - Papa Circus Dekhne Chale?
Papa - No... Beta I AM very Busy
Son - Usme Ek Ladki Ne Bina Kapdon Ke Sher Per
Sawari Ki Hai...
Papa - Bahut Ziddi Ho Gaye Ho Tum... Har Baat Zidd
Karke Manvate Ho.
Chalo Bahut Din Ho gaye Sher Nahin Dekha...!!!
****

Iske Aage Ki Kahani.
Son aur Papa Phir Circus Dekhne Chale Gaye...
Papa Ne Sabse Aage Wali Seat Ki Ticket Bhi Le Li.
Lion Show Bhi Aaya Aur Chala Gaya But Bina Kapadon
Ki Ladki Nahi Aayi...
Aur Circus Show Khatam Ho Gaya...
Papa - Tumne To Bola Tha Ki Ek Ladki Bina
Kapdon Ke Aayegi..?
Son - Bina Kapdo Ke To Sher Kaha Tha, Ladki Nahi.

I am Sure Aap Zaroor Ye Msg Dubara Padhenge...

Monday, November 3, 2014

Meri Suhagrat ki Majedar baat

Suhagrat ki rat - Sasural main Gayi thi aur wo Haseen Raat Rahi thi
Jaise jaise Raat ka Waqt badha, Pati Ka Hua Khada
Usne pass aakar Chhua aur Mujko Kuch Kuch Hua
Usne Kiss aisi ki jaise coca cola pee
Usne blouse mera khola to uska bhi saanp dola
Mai to rahi bholi, Fir maine kholi Choli
Usne Boobbs kiye press aur shrmaya mera face
Uska aisa tight hua, Jaise khodna ho KUUAA
Itna jor se ghusa, jaise kisi ne bamboo Thoonsa
Hum dono ka nikla pasina, par utra nhi Kamina,
Khach-khach Pach-pach awaazein aayi, Mai bhi khud ko rok na payi
jo tight kele jaisa dala tha andar
Wo chuusee Aam jaisa nikla tha bahar

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Aunti aur Pappu ki dosti

Ek Ladka apni Jawan Aunti ke sath bike par
ja raha tha,
jab bhi aunti ke boobss uski kamar par lagte to wo
kahta, "Na Pappu Na.. ye Aunti Hai"
Ghar aa ke aunti ne usse pucha - "tu kis pappu se baatein kar raha tha?"
ladka sharmate hue bola - "Mera Baar-Baar Khada Ho Raha Tha to main isko samjha raha tha Ki
Pappu Khada Na Ho Ye Aunti Hai"
Aunti Boli - "Chal Pagal, Tu Pappu Ko Na Rok, Aunti to Main Teri Hun Pappu Ki Nahi chal aaja andar"

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Bus stop par ek ladki wisper ka packet leke khadi thi

Bus stop par ek ladki wisper ka packet leke
khadi hui thi..
Bhikhari - kuch de do madam.
Ladki - kuch nahi hai mere pass.
Bhikhari - Madam ye bread ka packet hi dedo.
Ladki - fir to tum kal aana sos lagake dungi.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Pappu aur Auto rickshaw wala

Pappu aur Auto rickshaw wala
Pappu - kitna paisa hua?
Auto wala - 30 rs..
Pappu - Ye le 15 Rs..
Auto Wala - Ye kya sirf 15 Rs.. ye to galat hai bhai
Pappu - galat kaise.. Tu bhi to baith ke aaya hai.. to sharing ka paisa kon dega, Tera baap...

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Ek Ladka ladki ko pata ke jungle main le gaya

Ek Ladka ladki ko pata ke jungle main le gaya...
Ladke ne
sexx karna shuru kiya to
ladki boli - "Mein bataana bhool gayi ki mein ek Prostitute hun aur ek baar ke 500 leti hun."
Ladke ne majboori main paise diye aur fir thoka.
Thokne ke baad ladka cigarette peene laga.
Ladki - chalo na wapas nahi jaana kya?
Ladka - Main tumko bataana bhool gaya tha ki mein Taxi Driver hun aur yaha se shahar ke 800 leta hun.
Moral - thokne se pahle Boys bhale hi Pagal ban jate hain par thokne ke baad dimaag se hi kaam lete hain...

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Ye hath mujhe de de Thakur

Gabbar - Ye hath mujhe de de Thakur!
Thakur - Le le bhai
Mere hath le le
Basanti ke hath le le
Jai aur Veeru ke hath bhi le le
Ramu Kaka ke hath bhi le
Aur Actopus ban ja Kutte...

Gabbar - Sorry yar Thakur, Tu to Imosnal ho gaya...

Friday, March 21, 2014

Doctor aur Lady ki Sararat

Doctor to Lady - Aap Jorse Sans lijiye.
Lambi or lambi or tabhi
KHATAK se awaaz aayi...
Doctor - Lagta hai apke gale main Fracture hai.
Lady - Chup chutiye, meri BRA ka hook tut gaya hai...

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Madam aur Pappu

School Main Yoga ki class Main
Madam Yoga Karte Hue Baccho
Se Ek Question Karti Hai...
Madam - "Bacho Bataoo, Main apni Ek
Taang Par Kab aur Kyu Khadi
Hoti Hun?
Jo Bhi Batayega Uske
Practical Main Full Number
Lagaungi...
All Students chup the tabhi Pappu jor se chillaya...
Madam - Bataoo Pappu,
Pappu - Ma’am, Nahane Ke Baad
Underwear Pehanne Ke Time
Aur Utarne Ke Time.

Teacher Shocks, Pappu Rocks

Friday, January 10, 2014

Shararti Dost aur Hosiyar Bhabhi

Pati aur Patni Sexx Kar Rahe The...
Achanak kisi ne Door Bell Bajayi.
Pati ne 5 Min baad Darwaza Khola...
Uska dost aaya hua tha...
Dost - Yaar badi der laga di darwaza kholne main?
Pati - yar Hum log chatni koot rahe the.
Shararti Dost bola - Bhabhi hame bhi Chatni chatao...
Hosiyar Bhabhi - Maine To Bartan Dho Diye Hain, Kootne ke Dande Par Lagi Hogi, Chat Lo.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Pappu aur Ladki ka Ambulance Game

Pappu Ki Ek Ladki Se Kafi Time Se
Setting Chal Rahi Thi,
-
Bahut Manane Ke Baad Vo Ladki Sex Ke Liye
Razi Hui.
-
Pappu Ne Sham Ko Use Apne Ghar par
Bulaya Aur Bola.
-
Pappu - Chal Aaj Ambulance-Ambulance Game Khelte Hai
Ladki - Arey Ye Kaun sa Game Hai?
Maine To Iska Naam pahali bar Suna hai
-
-
Pappu Muskurate Hue:
Arey Bada Simple game Hai, Main Apna
Tumhare Mein Dalunga,
Jab Tumhe Dard Ho
Aur Tum Mujhe Rokna Chaho
-
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To
-
-
Bolna Red Light
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Ladki Kuch Sochne Ke Boli - Theek Hai
-
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Pappu Ne Jaise Hi Apna Uske Ander
Dala aur 2-3 Dakke Diye To
-
Uski Dard Ke Maare Fatt Gayi
-
Aur Chillane Lagi 'Red Light'
-
Red Light Ufff?..
-
Red Light Ohh..
-
Red Light "Haaye main Mar Gayi.
-
Arey Ruko To Sahi??
-
-
Pappu Shaitani Hasi Hanste Hue
Bola :
-
Arey behan ki lodi,
-
-
-
Ambulance Bhi Kabhi Red Light Par
Rukti Hai kya...

Mast jokes and Chutkule

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Master Ka Dil Padhane Ka Nahi Kar Raha Tha

Garmi Ki Wajah Se Master Ka Dil Padhane Ka Nahi Kar Raha Tha
To wo Baccho Se Idhar Udhar Ke Sawal Puch Ke Time Paas Karne Lag Gaya...
Pappu Ki Bari Aayi To Usne Pucha.
Master - Agar Tum Ek Jungle Mein Ho Aur Wahan par Sher Aa Jaye To Tum Kya Karoge?
Pappu - Ji Simple, Mein Ped Per Chadd Jaunga
Master - Han, Agar vo Sher Bhi Ped Per Chadd Jaye To?
Pappu - To Main Pani Mein Kood Jaunga...
Master - Aur Agar Wo Sher Bhi Pani Main Aa Jaye To?
-
Pappu Ne Muskurate Hue Master Se Puchha - "Master Ji, Sher Ko Apni Behan Di Hui Hai Kya Jo Usi Ki Side Liye Ja Rahe Ho"

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Stupid Science ke Chutkule

SCIENCE kahta hai ki paani ubalne se uske kitanu mar jate hai..
-
-
Par Science ko ye nahi pata ki kitanu ke marne ke baad unki
-
'Dead Bodies' to Paani main hi reh jati hai..
-
Stupid Science

Friday, November 8, 2013

Santa ka Condom Gift for Girlfriend

Santa - Jaldi se Ek Condom dena, Girl friend ko gift dena hai..
Dukandaar - Is par gift cover chada du kya?
-
Santa - Are nahi ye cover hi to hai. Gift to mere paas hai.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Happy Diwali to you

Happy Diwali to You and Your Family...

Happy Diwali to Dad
Happy Diwali to Mom
Happy Diwali to my sister
Happy Diwali to all

<><><><><>

Phool ki suruvaat kali se hoti hai,
Zindagi ki suruvaat pyar se hoti hai,
Pyar ki suruvaat apno se hoti hai aur
apno ki suruvaat aapse hoti hai.
Happy Diwali 2013!

<><><><><>

Kumkum bhare kadmon se,
Aaye Laxmi Jee apke duwar,
Sukh sampati mile aapko apaar,
Diwali ki subhkamnain kare sweekar...
Happy Deepawali

<><><><><>

Is diwali par hamari dua hai ki apka har sapnna pura ho
duniya ke unche mukam apke ho
shoharat ki bulandiyan par naam apka ho!
Wish u a very Happy Diwali!

<><><><><>

Diwali ke Is Mangal Avsar par
Aap Sabhi ki Manokamna Puri ho
Khushiyan Apke Kadam Chume
Isi Kamna ke Saath aap Sabhi ko
Diwali ki Dhero Badhaiyan...

Happy Diwali Wishes

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Baba Sakru ka Manglasutra aur Kamasutra

Baba SAKRU Se Unki Ek Nayi Bani Cheli Ne Pucha
Cheli - "Baba Ji, Ye Manglasutra Ka Kya Use hota Hai"
Baba Ji - "Ye License Hai Kamasutra Ko Bina Condom Ke Enjoy Karne Ka"
Cheli - "Wah Ye To Pata Hi Nahi Tha, Aur phir iss Condom Ka Kya Use hota Hai"
Baba Ji - "Ye Ek License Hai Kamasutra Ko Bina Manglasutra Ke Enjoy Karne Ka..."

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Umar 80 ki or Dil bachpan ka

Umar 80 ki...par Dil bachpan ka

Dadu pappu se.. Beta zara andar se mere daant (teath) le aa..

Pappu - Dadu lekin abhi khana nai bana hai..

Dadu - Nai nai beta khane ke liye nai.. wo saamne wali building main teri aunty ko Smile dena hai...

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Zindgi Main Do Cheeze Samaj main Nahi Aayi

Zindgi Main Do Cheeze Samaj main Nahi Aayi Aaj Tak

Pehli - Ladkiyon Ki Jeans Main Zip Ka Kya Kaam Hai??

Doosri - Jab Unke Paas Kuch Pakadne Ke Liye Hai Hi
Nahi To Wo Bathroom
Jane Ke Baad Hath Kyo Dhoti Hai?

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Ek Bar Ek Chuha Ped Par Chad Gaya

Ek bar ek Chuha ped par chad gaya.
Monkey : ped par kyun aaya.
Chuha : are chiku khane aya hun yaar.
Monkey : Abe Ghonchu ye to Aam ka ped hai...
Chuha : Zindagi main ek baat yaad rakhna
Chutiye, majdoor ko khodna aur baap
ko Thokna mat sikha..
-
Main Chiku sath lekar aaya hun...

Mast Chuha

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Sharabi aur Pujari

Ek Sharabi Sarab Pee kar ghar jaa raha tha...
Raste main Mandir ke bahar Pujari dikha.
Sharabi ne pujari se poocha, sabse bada kaun?
Pujari ne peecha chudane ke liye kaha "Mandir Bada"..
Sharabi bola - Mandir bada to dharti pe kaise khada
Pujari : "Chalo bhai Dharti badi"
Sharabi : "Dharti badi to Sheshnaag pe kyun khadi"
Pujari : "Sheshnaag bada"
Sharabi : "Sheshnaag bada to Shiv ke gale main kyon pada"
Pujari : "Chalo bhai Shiv bada"
Sharabi : "Shiv bada to Parbat par kyon khada"
Pujari : "Parbat bada"
Sharabi : "Parbat bada to Hanuman ki ungli pe kyon pada"
Pujari : "Hanuman bada"
Sharabi : "Hanuman bada to Ram ki charno main kyon pada"
Pujari : "Ram bada"
Sharabi : "Ram bada to Ravan ke piche kyun pada"
Pujari : "Arey mere baap tu bata kaun bada"
-
-
-
-
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Sharabi : "Is duniya main wo bada jo Puri bottle pee ke apni taango pe khada"

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Bechara Ladka

Ek Ladka Apni Padoos ki Aunty ko
ghar chodne gaya...
-
Late ho gaya to Aunty ne bola
-
-
Beta raat bahut ho gai hai,
tum yahi BITTU ke room main so jao.!
-
-
Ladka bola - Nahi Aunty main
yahi SOFA par so jaunga
-
-
Agle din Subah ek Bahut hi
Sundar Ladki CHAI le kar aai..
-
-
Ladka - Aap kaun ho..??
-
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Ladki - Main BITTU. Aap kaun..??
-
-
-
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Ladka - Main Ullu ka pattha..

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Pappu ki Naukri

Pappu ko Fire brigade main naukari mil gayi
-
-
Ek Lady ne call kiya : hello mere ghar par aag lagi
hai
-
-
Pappu : Apne Pani daala....??
Lady : Haa, par aag bujhi nahi...
-
-
Pappu : pagal, fir hum aa kar kya
karenge...????
Hum bhi to pani hi dalenge na...

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Jija Sali ke Jokes in Hindi

Apni Sali Ke Saath Sax Karne Ke Baad Jija Bola
Jija : Tum Apni Didi Se Zyada Majaa Deti Ho

Sali Udaass Hote Hue : Dekhiye Na Jijaji, Fir Bhi Mere Pati Kahte Hai Tumhari Didi Jyada Maja Deti Hai...

*******

Jija Sali Se Puchta Hai - Jab Tum Ladkiya Susu Karti Ho To Seeti Ki Awaj Kyu Nikalti Hai..
Sali Sharmate Hue - Kyunki Hamare Pass Tum Logo Ki jase Silencer Nahi Laga Hota Na.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Chutkule for Kids

Aaj Ke Bacche..
-
-
Postman knocked the Door..
-
-
A Kid came with cigrate in mouth &
Beer in hand..
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Postman :"Beta Papa hain.. kya
-
-
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Kid : "Abe Bhootni Ke, Mujhe Dekh Ke
Lagta Hai ki Baap Ghar pe Hoga...

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Santa ke Majedar Chutkule

Ek Bar Santa Ne Socha,
Bhagwan Ki Toh Sab Pooja Karte Hain,
Kyu Na Mai Shaitan Ki Pooja Karu...?
Ho sakta hai wo free ho aur meri wishes puri kar de.
Santa ne 1 year tak Tapsya ki...
After 1 year,
Shaitan uske samne aaya...

Shaitan : Vats mai tumse khush hua...
3 vardan maang lo..
Santa : Nahi mujhe 100 vardan chahiye

Shaitan : Vats mai kewal 3 de sakta hu...
lena hai to le nahi to mai chala.
Santa : (ek minute soch kar) aacha aapke hath
main jo Gada hai vo danda ban jaye.

Shaitan : Tauhastu, ab dusri wish bolo?

Santa : Is dande ko apni pichhe daal lo, andar tak...

Shaitan : (confused) Tathastu, aab jaldi se
tisri mang saale bahut dard ho raha hai..

Santa : Smiles & says, Haramkhor,
ab bol baki 97 wishes dega ya fir is
dande ko andar hi 'Gada' banwa du

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Majedar Hindi Chutkule and Hindi Jokes

Majedar Hindi Chutkule and Hindi Jokes

Ek bar Ek Chuha Ped Par Chadd Gaya...
Monkey : Ped par kyun aaya...
Chuha : Are Chiku khane aya hun yaar.
Monkey : Abe Ghonchu ye to Aam ka Ped(tree) hai.
Chuha : Zindagi me ek baat yaad rakhna Chutiye, 
Majdoor ko Khodna Aur Baap ko Thokna Mat Sikha....
Main Chiku sath lekar aaya hun...

***********

Ladka ek Ladki ka Peecha kar raha tha...
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-
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Girl : Tumhe pata hai, Peeche Meri Maa aa rahi hai...
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Ladka : Tu Tension Na Le Hum Khandani Aashiq hai,
-
Teri Maa ke Peechey Mera Baap Aa Raha hai...

***********

Ek Andha Police Main Bharti Hone Ke Liye Gaya,
Officer Ne Pucha Tumhe Hum Kis Liye Rakhe ?
Andhe Ne Fauran Jawab Diya
Andha-Dhund Firing Ke Liye...

***********

Ragging ke Waqt Ladko ne ek Ladki se kaha
Ek sawal ka Jawab do,
Patna kaha hai ?
Ladki : Bihar main.
Boys : Yahi PAT jao itna dur jaane ki kya jarurat hai..!

***********

Ek ladka fail hua to uske papa ne kaha
-
dekh-dekh , padosh ki ladki ko dekh, wo
tumhare sath padhti hai,
-
1st aayi hai...
-
-
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Boy - Usiko dekh-dekh ke to fail hua hoon PAPA...

***********

Father - Agar is bar tum exam main fail hue to mujhe papa mat kehna...
After exam
Father - how is ur result?
-
Son - Dimag ka dahi mat kar CHUNILAL tu baap ka haq kho chuka hai...

Monday, May 20, 2013

Lady Murge Wale Se...

Lady Murge wale se : Koi Accha sa Murga dikhao?
Murge wale ne Murga dikhaya
Lady (uske niche hath laga ke) : Ye hydrabad ka hai,
koi aur dikhao...
2nd Murge ke Niche bhi hath laga ke : Ye Kerala ka hai...
3rd Murge ke Niche bhi hath laga ke : Yes, ye gujrat ka
hai De do...
-
-
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Paise dene ke baad
Lady : Tum kaha ke ho ?
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MURGE WALA (Sharmate hue) : Ab mai kya batau, aap khud hi check karlo...

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Duniya Ka Sabse Dirty Joke

Ladka aur Ladki dono hans rahe the tabhi Ladki achanak Se chup ho jati hai..
-
Ladka : Kya hua?
Ladki : Kuch nahi
Ladka : Batao na kuch to hua?
-
-
Ladki : Wo hanstey-2 meri thodi si potti nikal gayi...

Smile Pls

Ladka aur Ladki ke Chutkule

Ek Ladka Ek Ladki ka peecha kar raha tha.
-
-
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Girl - Tumhe pata hai, peeche meri Maa aa rahi hai..
-
-
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Ladka - Tu Tension mat Le Hum Khandani Aashiq hai,
-
Teri maa ke peechey mera Baap aa raha hai..

**********

Ek Ladka rojana kothe par jakar bhaav puchta tha
Dost : Jab tujhe kuch karna hi nahi hai to tu rate Qu puchta hai,

Ladka : Main chek karta hu ki GF mehangi to nai pad ri..

*************

Girl to boy : Main tumhe apna Dil nahi de sakti.
-
Boy to girl : Main utne upar ki soch bhi nahi raha tha!

*************

Ladke Ne Ek Din Apni Girlfriend Ko Kaha

Ladka : "Janu, Kya Main Tumhe Ek Kiss Kar Sakta Hun?"

Ladki : "Condom Laye Ho Kya?"

Ladke Ko Samajh Na Aaya To Usne Puchha

Ladka : "Arrey, Kiss Karne Ke Liye Condom Ki Kya Jarurat Hai?"

Ladki : "Achha, Sharif To Aise Ban Rahe Ho Jaise Kiss Karne Ke Baad Khade Hathiyar Pe Meri Panty Tangoge?"

*************

Ladka Ladki Sex kar rahe the..
Suddenly ladka bola kya hum sadi kar lein?
Ladki boli mazdur ho! Mazduri karo
Factory ke malik banne ki kosis mat karo...

Ladka aur Ladki ke Jokes

Friday, April 19, 2013

Bhoot ka Joke


Do Bhoot Apas main baat kar rahe the...
Bhoot1 : Tu kaise mara.
Bhoot2 : Friz ki Thand se,
aur tu kaise mara
bhoot1 :  Patni pe shak tha.
Pura ghar dunda par Ashik
nahi mila.
Sarm se sucide kar li.
Bhoot1 : Friz khol deta to
dono bach jate....