Monday, October 24, 2016

Chote Chote Chutkule

नवाज शरीफ - मोदी जी हमें कश्मीर चाहिए.
मोदी जी - चल share it चालु कर..
और जब रिसीव किया तो ये लिखकर आया - You have not enough space please delete your Lahore, Balochistan..

Thursday, August 25, 2016

I Love you wale Chutkule

Patni ka 'I love you' bolne ke baad pati ka 'i love you Too' bolna utna he jaruri hai
jitna ki 'jor se bolo' ke baad 'Jai maata di' bolna jaruri hota hai

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Ek Bahut Hi Khubsoorat Pataka Madam

Ek Bahut Hi khubsoorat pataka Madam College Mein Bachho Ko Samjha Rahi thi..
Madam – Sachhe Dil Se Maangi Cheej Jaroor Milti Hai
Pappu Ye Sun Kar Haste Hue Bola
Madam ji Agar Aisa Hota To Ab Tak..


Aap Class Ke 30 Bachho Ke Sath Na Jane Kitni Bar Suhagrat Mana Chuki Hoti...

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Muh Dekh Lo Apne Baap ka

Ek Aadmi ke Ghar ke samne ek KUTTA Mara pada tha,
Usne Nagar nigam walo ko phone kiya,
"Mere ghar ke samne Kutta mara pada hai, Uthwa lo"
Jawab mila, 'Wahi par Dafna do'
Aadmi ko Gussa to bahut aaya par aaram se bola, Ji main to Daffan karne laga tha,
Par Kuutte ke baccho ko batana bhi jaruri tha,
Ki Muh Dekh Lo Apne Baap ka!!!!

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Wife ki Romantic Movie wala Mood

wife - Aaj maine 1 romantic movie dekhi.
santa - good, to ji app ka kya irada hai.?
wife - tum mujhe rassi se bandh lo or jo chahe karo.
santa ne apni wife ko rassi se bandha aur
.

..

dosto ke sath movie dekhne chala gaya.

Friday, May 20, 2016

Dil Main Chhipi Yaadon Se Hindi Shayari

Dil Main Chhipi Yaadon Se Sawaruu Tujhe,
Tu dekhe to apni aankho me Utaru tujhe,
Tere naam ko laboo pei aise sajaya hain,
So bhi Jaau to Khuaboo me Pukaru Tujhe

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Do Pandito ki Ladai

Do Pandito main Ladai ho rahi thi
Unko ladte hue bahut der ho gayi
Tisra Pandit bola - bhai kyu lad rahe ho?
to ek Pandit bola, "jab main Lahsun, Pyaz nahi khata to iss saale ne Chicken main kyu dala.

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Suhagrat Ko Pati Ke Ander Ghuste Hi

Suhagrat Ko Pati Ke Ander Ghuste Hi Biwi Ne Apna Blouse Utar Diya.
Pati Ye Dekh Kar Bada Hairan Hua Aur Biwi Se Pucha?
Pati - "Arey Tum ne Mere Aate Hi Apna Blouse Kyuu Utaar Diya?"
Biwi Sharmate Hue - "Ji, Aapki Bhabi Ne Kaha Tha Ki Jaate Hi Apne Pati Ko...
Doodh Zarur Pila Dena"

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Maha Gande Chutkule Jokes In Hindi Language

Maha Gande Chutkule Jokes in Hindi Language
Ek Choti Bachchi Ne Ek Randii Se Poocha
Bachchi - Aunty Aapke Paas Itna Bada Ghar Hai, Paisa Hai, Cars Hain
Aap Ka Business Kya Hai?
Randi Boli - Bas Beta Ek Mera HOLE-SALE Ka Business Hai.

***********

Doodh Wala Aur Ek Aurat
Doodhwala Bahut de se Lagataar Ek Aurat Ki Door-Bell Baja Raha Tha
Aurat Naha Rahi Thi Oonchi Awaaz Mein Gusse Se Boli
Aurat - Bhaiya Kitna Dabaoge Ab Bas Bhi Karo Tumse Achchha
To Paperwala Hai Jo Chup Chaap Neeche Se Daal Deta Hai.

***********

Pappu Classroom Mein
Pappu Class Mein Bade Dheere Se Mobile Pe Kisi Se Baatein Kar Raha Tha
Santa Kafi Der Se Ye Sab Dekh Raha Tha - Rahaa Nahi Gaya To Bola
Santa - Abe Kis Se Baat Kar Raha Hai?
Pappu - Sister Se
Santa - Itne Pyaar Se
Pappu - Haan... Teri Jo Hai.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Mast Santa Jokes

Santa Bank main paise jama karane gaya. Cashier - Tumhare Note nakli hai.
Santa - Tujhe kya farak padata hai?
Jama to Mere Account me ho rahe hai na..!!

********

Girlfriend - Apke bina mera ZEE nahi lagta..
.
Santa - ZEE nahi lagta to isme kya hai pagal...
.
SONY ya STAR PLUS laga lo wo bhi achhe channel hai.

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Kharab Kismat Doctor na ban sake

Issse badi bedardi kya hogi Kismat ki Hamare sath

writing kharab thi... fir bhi Doctor na ban sake.

Saturday, December 26, 2015

Boss and Ladki in Office

Ek Office main Boss and Ladki
Boss - Ye kaisi dress pahani hai tumne
Aadha Zism dikh raha hai
Ladki - Sir, itni kam salary main to yahi chote kapde hi aate hain
Boss - Manager, Is Ladki ko 3 Months tak Salary mat dena...

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Old Lady ko Gas ka problem

Old Lady to Doctor
Dr. sahab Mujhe Gas ki problem hai
par achhi baat ye hai ki meri gas main na
BadBu aati hai aur na hi Awaaz
-
-
Aap ke clinic main bhi 20 baar gas chhod chuki hu par kisi ko pata nahi chala.
-
Doctor - "Ye Dawa lena aur 1 week baad aana.
-
-
(1 week ke baad)
Old Lady -"Aap ne mujhe kya dawa de di
Meri gas main abhi bhi aawaz nahi aa
rahi par bahut Zehrili Badbu aa rahi hai"
-
-
Doctor - Good..! Aapki Naak theek ho gayi hai
Ab hum aap ke KAAN ka ilaaj karenge

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Budha Aur Budhi ki Kahani

Ek Hotel main Ek bar
Ek budha aaya aur saath main Ek budhiya laya
Hotel main jakar waiter ko bulaya,
Dono ne apna-apna order Mangaya,
Pehle budhe ne khaya, Aur budhiya ne pankha hilaya,
Fir budhiya ne khaya, Aur budhe ne pankha hilaya,

Ye dekh kar Waiter sharmaya aur usne farmaya
Tum dono main itna pyar hai to khana 1 sath kyun nahi khaya?

Is par budhe ne farmaya!!!

Beta tera sawal to nek hai
Par hamare paas Daanto ka set sirf ek hai.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Anpadh Aadmi in Bank

Ek Anpadh Aadmi Bank main Account khulvane gaya
Ladki - Sex ?
Aadmi - ji kar leta hu
Ladki - mera matlab Male ya Female
Aadmi - Ji, jo bhi mil jae Pel deta hu.

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Desi Honey Singh from Delhi

Pati Aur Patni Joke of the day

Pati aur Patni Blue Film Dekh Rahe The ki Achaanak Patni Ne Pooccha
Patni - Aap Us Aadmi Ki Tarah Itni Zyada Der Tak Kyun Nahi Karte?
Pati - Pagli Wo Uski Patni Nahi Hai Na, Tu Apni Bahen Se To Puchh Ke Dekh.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Ek Fouji Jang Se Wapas Aaya

Ek Fouji Jang Se Wapas Aaya Aur Khidki Par Udas
Sa Baith Gaya.
Uski Biwi Ko Itne Din Ke Baad Usko Aaya Dekh Kar Sexx
Ki Ichha Hui.
Biwi Aayi Aur Dupatta Gira Kar Boli
Dekho Hawa Ne Mera Kya Uda Diya
Fouji Chup...
Phir Suit Nikala Aur Boli
Dekho Hawa Ne Mera Kya Uda Diya
Fouji Chup...
Phir Salwar Utaari Aur Boli
Dekho Hawa Ne Mera Kya Uda Diya
Fouji Ko Gussa Aya Aur Bola
Bahanchod Meri Dhoti Utah Aur Dekh, Bomb Ne Mera Kya Uda Diya

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Bhabhi hame bhi Thodi Chatni chatao na

Pati aur Patni Sexx Kar Rahe The, Achanak kisine Door-Bell Bajayi.
Aadmi ne 5 Min baad Darwaja Khola,
Dost - Yaar badi der laga di darwaja kholne mein ?
Aadmi - Hum log chatni koot rahe the.
Shararti Dost bola - Bhabhi hame bhi Thodi Chatni chatao na..
Hoshiyar Bhabhi - Maine To Bartan Dho Diye Hain, lakin
Kootne wale Dande Par Lagi Hogi, woh Chat Lo..

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Papa Circus dekhne chale

Son - Papa Circus Dekhne Chale?
Papa - No... Beta I AM very Busy
Son - Usme Ek Ladki Ne Bina Kapdon Ke Sher Per
Sawari Ki Hai...
Papa - Bahut Ziddi Ho Gaye Ho Tum... Har Baat Zidd
Karke Manvate Ho.
Chalo Bahut Din Ho gaye Sher Nahin Dekha...!!!
****

Iske Aage Ki Kahani.
Son aur Papa Phir Circus Dekhne Chale Gaye...
Papa Ne Sabse Aage Wali Seat Ki Ticket Bhi Le Li.
Lion Show Bhi Aaya Aur Chala Gaya But Bina Kapadon
Ki Ladki Nahi Aayi...
Aur Circus Show Khatam Ho Gaya...
Papa - Tumne To Bola Tha Ki Ek Ladki Bina
Kapdon Ke Aayegi..?
Son - Bina Kapdo Ke To Sher Kaha Tha, Ladki Nahi.

I am Sure Aap Zaroor Ye Msg Dubara Padhenge...

Monday, November 3, 2014

Meri Suhagrat ki Majedar baat

Suhagrat ki rat - Sasural main Gayi thi aur wo Haseen Raat Rahi thi
Jaise jaise Raat ka Waqt badha, Pati Ka Hua Khada
Usne pass aakar Chhua aur Mujko Kuch Kuch Hua
Usne Kiss aisi ki jaise coca cola pee
Usne blouse mera khola to uska bhi saanp dola
Mai to rahi bholi, Fir maine kholi Choli
Usne Boobbs kiye press aur shrmaya mera face
Uska aisa tight hua, Jaise khodna ho KUUAA
Itna jor se ghusa, jaise kisi ne bamboo Thoonsa
Hum dono ka nikla pasina, par utra nhi Kamina,
Khach-khach Pach-pach awaazein aayi, Mai bhi khud ko rok na payi
jo tight kele jaisa dala tha andar
Wo chuusee Aam jaisa nikla tha bahar

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Aunti aur Pappu ki dosti

Ek Ladka apni Jawan Aunti ke sath bike par
ja raha tha,
jab bhi aunti ke boobss uski kamar par lagte to wo
kahta, "Na Pappu Na.. ye Aunti Hai"
Ghar aa ke aunti ne usse pucha - "tu kis pappu se baatein kar raha tha?"
ladka sharmate hue bola - "Mera Baar-Baar Khada Ho Raha Tha to main isko samjha raha tha Ki
Pappu Khada Na Ho Ye Aunti Hai"
Aunti Boli - "Chal Pagal, Tu Pappu Ko Na Rok, Aunti to Main Teri Hun Pappu Ki Nahi chal aaja andar"

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Bus stop par ek ladki wisper ka packet leke khadi thi

Bus stop par ek ladki wisper ka packet leke
khadi hui thi..
Bhikhari - kuch de do madam.
Ladki - kuch nahi hai mere pass.
Bhikhari - Madam ye bread ka packet hi dedo.
Ladki - fir to tum kal aana sos lagake dungi.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Pappu aur Auto rickshaw wala

Pappu aur Auto rickshaw wala
Pappu - kitna paisa hua?
Auto wala - 30 rs..
Pappu - Ye le 15 Rs..
Auto Wala - Ye kya sirf 15 Rs.. ye to galat hai bhai
Pappu - galat kaise.. Tu bhi to baith ke aaya hai.. to sharing ka paisa kon dega, Tera baap...

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Ek Ladka ladki ko pata ke jungle main le gaya

Ek Ladka ladki ko pata ke jungle main le gaya...
Ladke ne
sexx karna shuru kiya to
ladki boli - "Mein bataana bhool gayi ki mein ek Prostitute hun aur ek baar ke 500 leti hun."
Ladke ne majboori main paise diye aur fir thoka.
Thokne ke baad ladka cigarette peene laga.
Ladki - chalo na wapas nahi jaana kya?
Ladka - Main tumko bataana bhool gaya tha ki mein Taxi Driver hun aur yaha se shahar ke 800 leta hun.
Moral - thokne se pahle Boys bhale hi Pagal ban jate hain par thokne ke baad dimaag se hi kaam lete hain...

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Ye hath mujhe de de Thakur

Gabbar - Ye hath mujhe de de Thakur!
Thakur - Le le bhai
Mere hath le le
Basanti ke hath le le
Jai aur Veeru ke hath bhi le le
Ramu Kaka ke hath bhi le
Aur Actopus ban ja Kutte...

Gabbar - Sorry yar Thakur, Tu to Imosnal ho gaya...

Friday, March 21, 2014

Doctor aur Lady ki Sararat

Doctor to Lady - Aap Jorse Sans lijiye.
Lambi or lambi or tabhi
KHATAK se awaaz aayi...
Doctor - Lagta hai apke gale main Fracture hai.
Lady - Chup chutiye, meri BRA ka hook tut gaya hai...

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Madam aur Pappu

School Main Yoga ki class Main
Madam Yoga Karte Hue Baccho
Se Ek Question Karti Hai...
Madam - "Bacho Bataoo, Main apni Ek
Taang Par Kab aur Kyu Khadi
Hoti Hun?
Jo Bhi Batayega Uske
Practical Main Full Number
Lagaungi...
All Students chup the tabhi Pappu jor se chillaya...
Madam - Bataoo Pappu,
Pappu - Ma’am, Nahane Ke Baad
Underwear Pehanne Ke Time
Aur Utarne Ke Time.

Teacher Shocks, Pappu Rocks

Friday, January 10, 2014

Shararti Dost aur Hosiyar Bhabhi

Pati aur Patni Sexx Kar Rahe The...
Achanak kisi ne Door Bell Bajayi.
Pati ne 5 Min baad Darwaza Khola...
Uska dost aaya hua tha...
Dost - Yaar badi der laga di darwaza kholne main?
Pati - yar Hum log chatni koot rahe the.
Shararti Dost bola - Bhabhi hame bhi Chatni chatao...
Hosiyar Bhabhi - Maine To Bartan Dho Diye Hain, Kootne ke Dande Par Lagi Hogi, Chat Lo.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Pappu aur Ladki ka Ambulance Game

Pappu Ki Ek Ladki Se Kafi Time Se
Setting Chal Rahi Thi,
-
Bahut Manane Ke Baad Vo Ladki Sex Ke Liye
Razi Hui.
-
Pappu Ne Sham Ko Use Apne Ghar par
Bulaya Aur Bola.
-
Pappu - Chal Aaj Ambulance-Ambulance Game Khelte Hai
Ladki - Arey Ye Kaun sa Game Hai?
Maine To Iska Naam pahali bar Suna hai
-
-
Pappu Muskurate Hue:
Arey Bada Simple game Hai, Main Apna
Tumhare Mein Dalunga,
Jab Tumhe Dard Ho
Aur Tum Mujhe Rokna Chaho
-
-
To
-
-
Bolna Red Light
-
Ladki Kuch Sochne Ke Boli - Theek Hai
-
-
Pappu Ne Jaise Hi Apna Uske Ander
Dala aur 2-3 Dakke Diye To
-
Uski Dard Ke Maare Fatt Gayi
-
Aur Chillane Lagi 'Red Light'
-
Red Light Ufff?..
-
Red Light Ohh..
-
Red Light "Haaye main Mar Gayi.
-
Arey Ruko To Sahi??
-
-
Pappu Shaitani Hasi Hanste Hue
Bola :
-
Arey behan ki lodi,
-
-
-
Ambulance Bhi Kabhi Red Light Par
Rukti Hai kya...

Mast jokes and Chutkule

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Master Ka Dil Padhane Ka Nahi Kar Raha Tha

Garmi Ki Wajah Se Master Ka Dil Padhane Ka Nahi Kar Raha Tha
To wo Baccho Se Idhar Udhar Ke Sawal Puch Ke Time Paas Karne Lag Gaya...
Pappu Ki Bari Aayi To Usne Pucha.
Master - Agar Tum Ek Jungle Mein Ho Aur Wahan par Sher Aa Jaye To Tum Kya Karoge?
Pappu - Ji Simple, Mein Ped Per Chadd Jaunga
Master - Han, Agar vo Sher Bhi Ped Per Chadd Jaye To?
Pappu - To Main Pani Mein Kood Jaunga...
Master - Aur Agar Wo Sher Bhi Pani Main Aa Jaye To?
-
Pappu Ne Muskurate Hue Master Se Puchha - "Master Ji, Sher Ko Apni Behan Di Hui Hai Kya Jo Usi Ki Side Liye Ja Rahe Ho"

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Stupid Science ke Chutkule

SCIENCE kahta hai ki paani ubalne se uske kitanu mar jate hai..
-
-
Par Science ko ye nahi pata ki kitanu ke marne ke baad unki
-
'Dead Bodies' to Paani main hi reh jati hai..
-
Stupid Science

Friday, November 8, 2013

Santa ka Condom Gift for Girlfriend

Santa - Jaldi se Ek Condom dena, Girl friend ko gift dena hai..
Dukandaar - Is par gift cover chada du kya?
-
Santa - Are nahi ye cover hi to hai. Gift to mere paas hai.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Happy Diwali to you

Happy Diwali to You and Your Family...

Happy Diwali to Dad
Happy Diwali to Mom
Happy Diwali to my sister
Happy Diwali to all

<><><><><>

Phool ki suruvaat kali se hoti hai,
Zindagi ki suruvaat pyar se hoti hai,
Pyar ki suruvaat apno se hoti hai aur
apno ki suruvaat aapse hoti hai.
Happy Diwali 2013!

<><><><><>

Kumkum bhare kadmon se,
Aaye Laxmi Jee apke duwar,
Sukh sampati mile aapko apaar,
Diwali ki subhkamnain kare sweekar...
Happy Deepawali

<><><><><>

Is diwali par hamari dua hai ki apka har sapnna pura ho
duniya ke unche mukam apke ho
shoharat ki bulandiyan par naam apka ho!
Wish u a very Happy Diwali!

<><><><><>

Diwali ke Is Mangal Avsar par
Aap Sabhi ki Manokamna Puri ho
Khushiyan Apke Kadam Chume
Isi Kamna ke Saath aap Sabhi ko
Diwali ki Dhero Badhaiyan...

Happy Diwali Wishes

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Baba Sakru ka Manglasutra aur Kamasutra

Baba SAKRU Se Unki Ek Nayi Bani Cheli Ne Pucha
Cheli - "Baba Ji, Ye Manglasutra Ka Kya Use hota Hai"
Baba Ji - "Ye License Hai Kamasutra Ko Bina Condom Ke Enjoy Karne Ka"
Cheli - "Wah Ye To Pata Hi Nahi Tha, Aur phir iss Condom Ka Kya Use hota Hai"
Baba Ji - "Ye Ek License Hai Kamasutra Ko Bina Manglasutra Ke Enjoy Karne Ka..."

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Umar 80 ki or Dil bachpan ka

Umar 80 ki...par Dil bachpan ka

Dadu pappu se.. Beta zara andar se mere daant (teath) le aa..

Pappu - Dadu lekin abhi khana nai bana hai..

Dadu - Nai nai beta khane ke liye nai.. wo saamne wali building main teri aunty ko Smile dena hai...

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Zindgi Main Do Cheeze Samaj main Nahi Aayi

Zindgi Main Do Cheeze Samaj main Nahi Aayi Aaj Tak

Pehli - Ladkiyon Ki Jeans Main Zip Ka Kya Kaam Hai??

Doosri - Jab Unke Paas Kuch Pakadne Ke Liye Hai Hi
Nahi To Wo Bathroom
Jane Ke Baad Hath Kyo Dhoti Hai?

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Ek Bar Ek Chuha Ped Par Chad Gaya

Ek bar ek Chuha ped par chad gaya.
Monkey : ped par kyun aaya.
Chuha : are chiku khane aya hun yaar.
Monkey : Abe Ghonchu ye to Aam ka ped hai...
Chuha : Zindagi main ek baat yaad rakhna
Chutiye, majdoor ko khodna aur baap
ko Thokna mat sikha..
-
Main Chiku sath lekar aaya hun...

Mast Chuha