Thursday, March 2, 2017

Baap of all doctor jokes

Baap of all doctor jokes
😬😬😬

मरीज़ - डाक्टर साहब आपने पर्चे के पीछे जो दवा लिखी है वह पूरे शहर में कहीं न मिल रही 😥😥😥😥

डाक्टर 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
अरे साले वो तो मैं अपना पैन (pen) चलाकर चैक कर रहा था
😂😂😂😂

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Ek Gadha aur Ek Gadhi ka Attitude

Attitude dekho😀😀

एक मन्दिर के सामने 1 गाय ,1 गधा और 1 गधी घास खा रहे थे...
मन्दिर मे आने वाले
लोग गाय को हाथ लगाकर नमस्कार कर रहे थे...

यह देखकर गधी गधे से बोली - सब गाय को ही हाथ लगाकर चले जाते है पर मुझे कोई हाथ
नहीं लगाता???

गधा - मैडम आपके साथ आपका हीरो

है किसकी मजाल जो मेरे होते आपको हाथ लगाए...😝

Monday, January 30, 2017

Duniya ka Sabse Bada Aatank

दुनिया का सबसे बङा आतंक देखना हो तो
.
किसी का मोबाइल लो ओर
.
Contact लिस्ट मेँ जाकर
.
"Delete All" कर दो
.
फिर उसकी तरफ देखके हँस दो 😂 😂 😂

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Wo Chutiya Aane Wala Hai

Bahut hi Chutiya jokes or Chutkule

Beta - 'Daddy Kya Aap Chutiya Ho'
Santa - Nahi 'Kya hua?'
Beta - 'Aaj Jab Aap Ghar par nahi the To Mummy Uncle Se Kah Rahi Thi Ki Jaldi Karo
Nahi to Wo Chutiya aa jaega'

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

SUHAGRAAT Main Wife

SUHAGRAAT Main Wife -
Muje Gabhrahat ho rahi Hai..

Husband : Tumhari Pehli Raat hai na IsLiye ?

Wife : Nahi Ji Raat main Pehli Baar hai IsLiye.

Saturday, January 7, 2017

Doctor aur Patient wale Chutkule aur Jokes

Doctor aur Patient ke Chutkule aur Jokes

Bhagwan aur doctor ko kabhi naraaz mat karna..
kyuki bhagwan naraaz to aap doctor ke paas.
aur agar doctor naraaz to aap bhagwan ke paas.

*********

Simran to Doctor
Maine galti se meri Bhabhi ki
iPill kha li hai,
kya kru?
Doctor - Bindaas ghumo
Dosto ko khush karo,
72 ghanto ke liye
Prepaid ho gayi ho..
Jaa simran Jaa..
Jee le apni zindagi.

*********

Doctor - I am sorry
Operation ke waqt Rubber ke Gloves
Aapke pet main reh gaye.
dobara operation karna hoga.
Santa - Abey, pagal hai kya?
Ye le 20 rupaye.. aur naya le le..

*********

Lady - doctor mere lips pe infection ho gaya hai.
Doctor - kiss kitni bar karti ho?
Lady - saal main ek bar.
Doctor - Infection nahi jang lag gaya hai.

Monday, December 19, 2016

मजेदार हिंदी चुटकुले और जोक्स

बहुत ही मजेदार हिंदी चुटकुले और जोक्स

पप्पू: "हम 45 भाई बहन है"

मुन्ना: " क्या तुम्हारे घर जनसँख्या नियंत्रण वाले नहीं आये थे ?"

पप्पू : " आये तो थे , तब हम पढ़ रहे थे, और वो कोचिंग क्लास समझ कर चले गए "

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

***********

कई छोरियाँ तो इतनी
,
अकडू और नकचढी होती हैं कि
,
अगर उन्हें मच्छर भी काट ले तो
,
,
,
मच्खर को पकड के इंग्लिस में पूछती हैं -
,
,
What is your problem??

😄😀😀😙😗😀😊😄

***********

👩 लड़की : - हे भगवान, मेरी शादी किसी समझदार आदमी से करवा दो,
🌍भगवान : - घर जाओ बेटी समझदार आदमी कभी शादी नहीं करते !
😄😀😀😙😌😗😜

***********

Factory का मज़दूर (Boss से) : Sir, मेरे घर 18वां बच्चा पैदा हुआ है, मेरी Salary बढ़ा दो..

Boss : यार, मेरी गल्ल सुण, मैं अपनी Factory चलांवां या तेरी?

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Best of Whatsapp Hindi Shayari

Majedar Whatsapp Hindi Shayari

चुप - चाप गुज़ार देंगे तेरे बिना ये ज़िन्दगी,
लोगों को सिखा देंगे की मोह्बत ऐसे भी होती है.

********

हाल पूछ लेने से कौन सा हाल ठीक हो जाता है,
बस एक तस्सली सी हो जाती है कि इस दुनिया में अपना भी कोई है...

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Ek Naai aur Bhabhi Ji ki Double Meaning baat

Ek Naai aur Bhabhi Ji ke Double Meaning Chutkule

एक नाई की दुकान के ऊपर घर था!
एक दिन घर की एक औरत ने बहार की तरफ अपनी साड़ी सुखाने के लिए डाली!
साड़ी से दुकान में अँधेरा हो गया तो नाई ने जोर से आवाज़ लगायी...
नाई बोला - भाभी जी, अपनी साड़ी ऊपर उठा लो मैं बाल काट रहा हूं.

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Jija Aur Sali ke Hindi Chutkule

Jija Sali ke Funny Hindi Chutkule

एक साली अपने जीजा के साथ ट्रेन में जा रही थी ।

रात को वो काफी देर तक जीजा को अपने किस्से सुनाती रही ,

के,

अचानक जीजा ने पूछा :

" क्या ख्याल है आज रात हम दोनों " मियां बीवी "

की तरह गुज़ारें "

साली शरमाते हुवे बोली :

" जी..., जैसी आपकी मर्ज़ी "

जीजा : " तो चलो फिर अपनी

बक बक बन्द करो और मुझे सोने दो "
.
.
.
.
.

ना दोस्त ना ।
.
.
गन्दे मेसेज और मेरे नंबर से ?

Impossible... 😜😁....😃....😊

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Judwa Bachhe aur Thand ka Time

Bachho ke majedar chutkule

Thand ka time tha...
2 Judwa bacche apne room main baithe hue the,
1 bahut jor se hansh raha tha, aur dusra bahut udass tha,
Father ne pucha - itna kyu hansh rahe ho?
Bachha bola - Mamma ne dono bar isi ko nahla diya...
Happy Winter

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Scooter Wala Dhobi

Ek Scooter ke aage 'Press' likha hua tha...
Traffic Police - Kaun se Akhbar main kaam karte ho?
Scooter wala - Sahab DHOBI hu,
Society main Kapde Press Karta hu...

Monday, October 24, 2016

Chote Chote Chutkule

नवाज शरीफ - मोदी जी हमें कश्मीर चाहिए.
मोदी जी - चल share it चालु कर..
और जब रिसीव किया तो ये लिखकर आया - You have not enough space please delete your Lahore, Balochistan..

Thursday, August 25, 2016

I Love you wale Chutkule

Patni ka 'I love you' bolne ke baad pati ka 'i love you Too' bolna utna he jaruri hai
jitna ki 'jor se bolo' ke baad 'Jai maata di' bolna jaruri hota hai

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Ek Bahut Hi Khubsoorat Pataka Madam

Ek Bahut Hi khubsoorat pataka Madam College Mein Bachho Ko Samjha Rahi thi..
Madam – Sachhe Dil Se Maangi Cheej Jaroor Milti Hai
Pappu Ye Sun Kar Haste Hue Bola
Madam ji Agar Aisa Hota To Ab Tak..


Aap Class Ke 30 Bachho Ke Sath Na Jane Kitni Bar Suhagrat Mana Chuki Hoti...

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Muh Dekh Lo Apne Baap ka

Ek Aadmi ke Ghar ke samne ek KUTTA Mara pada tha,
Usne Nagar nigam walo ko phone kiya,
"Mere ghar ke samne Kutta mara pada hai, Uthwa lo"
Jawab mila, 'Wahi par Dafna do'
Aadmi ko Gussa to bahut aaya par aaram se bola, Ji main to Daffan karne laga tha,
Par Kuutte ke baccho ko batana bhi jaruri tha,
Ki Muh Dekh Lo Apne Baap ka!!!!

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Wife ki Romantic Movie wala Mood

wife - Aaj maine 1 romantic movie dekhi.
santa - good, to ji app ka kya irada hai.?
wife - tum mujhe rassi se bandh lo or jo chahe karo.
santa ne apni wife ko rassi se bandha aur
.

..

dosto ke sath movie dekhne chala gaya.

Friday, May 20, 2016

Dil Main Chhipi Yaadon Se Hindi Shayari

Dil Main Chhipi Yaadon Se Sawaruu Tujhe,
Tu dekhe to apni aankho me Utaru tujhe,
Tere naam ko laboo pei aise sajaya hain,
So bhi Jaau to Khuaboo me Pukaru Tujhe

Saturday, April 30, 2016

Do Pandito ki Ladai

Do Pandito main Ladai ho rahi thi
Unko ladte hue bahut der ho gayi
Tisra Pandit bola - bhai kyu lad rahe ho?
to ek Pandit bola, "jab main Lahsun, Pyaz nahi khata to iss saale ne Chicken main kyu dala.

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Suhagrat Ko Pati Ke Ander Ghuste Hi

Suhagrat Ko Pati Ke Ander Ghuste Hi Biwi Ne Apna Blouse Utar Diya.
Pati Ye Dekh Kar Bada Hairan Hua Aur Biwi Se Pucha?
Pati - "Arey Tum ne Mere Aate Hi Apna Blouse Kyuu Utaar Diya?"
Biwi Sharmate Hue - "Ji, Aapki Bhabi Ne Kaha Tha Ki Jaate Hi Apne Pati Ko...
Doodh Zarur Pila Dena"

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Maha Gande Chutkule Jokes In Hindi Language

Maha Gande Chutkule Jokes in Hindi Language
Ek Choti Bachchi Ne Ek Randii Se Poocha
Bachchi - Aunty Aapke Paas Itna Bada Ghar Hai, Paisa Hai, Cars Hain
Aap Ka Business Kya Hai?
Randi Boli - Bas Beta Ek Mera HOLE-SALE Ka Business Hai.

***********

Doodh Wala Aur Ek Aurat
Doodhwala Bahut de se Lagataar Ek Aurat Ki Door-Bell Baja Raha Tha
Aurat Naha Rahi Thi Oonchi Awaaz Mein Gusse Se Boli
Aurat - Bhaiya Kitna Dabaoge Ab Bas Bhi Karo Tumse Achchha
To Paperwala Hai Jo Chup Chaap Neeche Se Daal Deta Hai.

***********

Pappu Classroom Mein
Pappu Class Mein Bade Dheere Se Mobile Pe Kisi Se Baatein Kar Raha Tha
Santa Kafi Der Se Ye Sab Dekh Raha Tha - Rahaa Nahi Gaya To Bola
Santa - Abe Kis Se Baat Kar Raha Hai?
Pappu - Sister Se
Santa - Itne Pyaar Se
Pappu - Haan... Teri Jo Hai.

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Mast Santa Jokes

Santa Bank main paise jama karane gaya. Cashier - Tumhare Note nakli hai.
Santa - Tujhe kya farak padata hai?
Jama to Mere Account me ho rahe hai na..!!

********

Girlfriend - Apke bina mera ZEE nahi lagta..
.
Santa - ZEE nahi lagta to isme kya hai pagal...
.
SONY ya STAR PLUS laga lo wo bhi achhe channel hai.

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Kharab Kismat Doctor na ban sake

Issse badi bedardi kya hogi Kismat ki Hamare sath

writing kharab thi... fir bhi Doctor na ban sake.

Saturday, December 26, 2015

Boss and Ladki in Office

Ek Office main Boss and Ladki
Boss - Ye kaisi dress pahani hai tumne
Aadha Zism dikh raha hai
Ladki - Sir, itni kam salary main to yahi chote kapde hi aate hain
Boss - Manager, Is Ladki ko 3 Months tak Salary mat dena...

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Old Lady ko Gas ka problem

Old Lady to Doctor
Dr. sahab Mujhe Gas ki problem hai
par achhi baat ye hai ki meri gas main na
BadBu aati hai aur na hi Awaaz
-
-
Aap ke clinic main bhi 20 baar gas chhod chuki hu par kisi ko pata nahi chala.
-
Doctor - "Ye Dawa lena aur 1 week baad aana.
-
-
(1 week ke baad)
Old Lady -"Aap ne mujhe kya dawa de di
Meri gas main abhi bhi aawaz nahi aa
rahi par bahut Zehrili Badbu aa rahi hai"
-
-
Doctor - Good..! Aapki Naak theek ho gayi hai
Ab hum aap ke KAAN ka ilaaj karenge

Sunday, September 27, 2015

Budha Aur Budhi ki Kahani

Ek Hotel main Ek bar
Ek budha aaya aur saath main Ek budhiya laya
Hotel main jakar waiter ko bulaya,
Dono ne apna-apna order Mangaya,
Pehle budhe ne khaya, Aur budhiya ne pankha hilaya,
Fir budhiya ne khaya, Aur budhe ne pankha hilaya,

Ye dekh kar Waiter sharmaya aur usne farmaya
Tum dono main itna pyar hai to khana 1 sath kyun nahi khaya?

Is par budhe ne farmaya!!!

Beta tera sawal to nek hai
Par hamare paas Daanto ka set sirf ek hai.

Friday, September 25, 2015

Anpadh Aadmi in Bank

Ek Anpadh Aadmi Bank main Account khulvane gaya
Ladki - Sex ?
Aadmi - ji kar leta hu
Ladki - mera matlab Male ya Female
Aadmi - Ji, jo bhi mil jae Pel deta hu.

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Desi Honey Singh from Delhi

Pati Aur Patni Joke of the day

Pati aur Patni Blue Film Dekh Rahe The ki Achaanak Patni Ne Pooccha
Patni - Aap Us Aadmi Ki Tarah Itni Zyada Der Tak Kyun Nahi Karte?
Pati - Pagli Wo Uski Patni Nahi Hai Na, Tu Apni Bahen Se To Puchh Ke Dekh.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Ek Fouji Jang Se Wapas Aaya

Ek Fouji Jang Se Wapas Aaya Aur Khidki Par Udas
Sa Baith Gaya.
Uski Biwi Ko Itne Din Ke Baad Usko Aaya Dekh Kar Sexx
Ki Ichha Hui.
Biwi Aayi Aur Dupatta Gira Kar Boli
Dekho Hawa Ne Mera Kya Uda Diya
Fouji Chup...
Phir Suit Nikala Aur Boli
Dekho Hawa Ne Mera Kya Uda Diya
Fouji Chup...
Phir Salwar Utaari Aur Boli
Dekho Hawa Ne Mera Kya Uda Diya
Fouji Ko Gussa Aya Aur Bola
Bahanchod Meri Dhoti Utah Aur Dekh, Bomb Ne Mera Kya Uda Diya

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Bhabhi hame bhi Thodi Chatni chatao na

Pati aur Patni Sexx Kar Rahe The, Achanak kisine Door-Bell Bajayi.
Aadmi ne 5 Min baad Darwaja Khola,
Dost - Yaar badi der laga di darwaja kholne mein ?
Aadmi - Hum log chatni koot rahe the.
Shararti Dost bola - Bhabhi hame bhi Thodi Chatni chatao na..
Hoshiyar Bhabhi - Maine To Bartan Dho Diye Hain, lakin
Kootne wale Dande Par Lagi Hogi, woh Chat Lo..

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Wishing You a Happy New Year 2015

We Wish You and Your Family a Very Happy New Year 2015.


Saturday, November 22, 2014

Papa Circus dekhne chale

Son - Papa Circus Dekhne Chale?
Papa - No... Beta I AM very Busy
Son - Usme Ek Ladki Ne Bina Kapdon Ke Sher Per
Sawari Ki Hai...
Papa - Bahut Ziddi Ho Gaye Ho Tum... Har Baat Zidd
Karke Manvate Ho.
Chalo Bahut Din Ho gaye Sher Nahin Dekha...!!!
****

Iske Aage Ki Kahani.
Son aur Papa Phir Circus Dekhne Chale Gaye...
Papa Ne Sabse Aage Wali Seat Ki Ticket Bhi Le Li.
Lion Show Bhi Aaya Aur Chala Gaya But Bina Kapadon
Ki Ladki Nahi Aayi...
Aur Circus Show Khatam Ho Gaya...
Papa - Tumne To Bola Tha Ki Ek Ladki Bina
Kapdon Ke Aayegi..?
Son - Bina Kapdo Ke To Sher Kaha Tha, Ladki Nahi.

I am Sure Aap Zaroor Ye Msg Dubara Padhenge...

Monday, November 3, 2014

Meri Suhagrat ki Majedar baat

Suhagrat ki rat - Sasural main Gayi thi aur wo Haseen Raat Rahi thi
Jaise jaise Raat ka Waqt badha, Pati Ka Hua Khada
Usne pass aakar Chhua aur Mujko Kuch Kuch Hua
Usne Kiss aisi ki jaise coca cola pee
Usne blouse mera khola to uska bhi saanp dola
Mai to rahi bholi, Fir maine kholi Choli
Usne Boobbs kiye press aur shrmaya mera face
Uska aisa tight hua, Jaise khodna ho KUUAA
Itna jor se ghusa, jaise kisi ne bamboo Thoonsa
Hum dono ka nikla pasina, par utra nhi Kamina,
Khach-khach Pach-pach awaazein aayi, Mai bhi khud ko rok na payi
jo tight kele jaisa dala tha andar
Wo chuusee Aam jaisa nikla tha bahar

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Aunti aur Pappu ki dosti

Ek Ladka apni Jawan Aunti ke sath bike par
ja raha tha,
jab bhi aunti ke boobss uski kamar par lagte to wo
kahta, "Na Pappu Na.. ye Aunti Hai"
Ghar aa ke aunti ne usse pucha - "tu kis pappu se baatein kar raha tha?"
ladka sharmate hue bola - "Mera Baar-Baar Khada Ho Raha Tha to main isko samjha raha tha Ki
Pappu Khada Na Ho Ye Aunti Hai"
Aunti Boli - "Chal Pagal, Tu Pappu Ko Na Rok, Aunti to Main Teri Hun Pappu Ki Nahi chal aaja andar"

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Bus stop par ek ladki wisper ka packet leke khadi thi

Bus stop par ek ladki wisper ka packet leke
khadi hui thi..
Bhikhari - kuch de do madam.
Ladki - kuch nahi hai mere pass.
Bhikhari - Madam ye bread ka packet hi dedo.
Ladki - fir to tum kal aana sos lagake dungi.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Pappu aur Auto rickshaw wala

Pappu aur Auto rickshaw wala
Pappu - kitna paisa hua?
Auto wala - 30 rs..
Pappu - Ye le 15 Rs..
Auto Wala - Ye kya sirf 15 Rs.. ye to galat hai bhai
Pappu - galat kaise.. Tu bhi to baith ke aaya hai.. to sharing ka paisa kon dega, Tera baap...

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Ek Ladka ladki ko pata ke jungle main le gaya

Ek Ladka ladki ko pata ke jungle main le gaya...
Ladke ne
sexx karna shuru kiya to
ladki boli - "Mein bataana bhool gayi ki mein ek Prostitute hun aur ek baar ke 500 leti hun."
Ladke ne majboori main paise diye aur fir thoka.
Thokne ke baad ladka cigarette peene laga.
Ladki - chalo na wapas nahi jaana kya?
Ladka - Main tumko bataana bhool gaya tha ki mein Taxi Driver hun aur yaha se shahar ke 800 leta hun.
Moral - thokne se pahle Boys bhale hi Pagal ban jate hain par thokne ke baad dimaag se hi kaam lete hain...

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Ye hath mujhe de de Thakur

Gabbar - Ye hath mujhe de de Thakur!
Thakur - Le le bhai
Mere hath le le
Basanti ke hath le le
Jai aur Veeru ke hath bhi le le
Ramu Kaka ke hath bhi le
Aur Actopus ban ja Kutte...

Gabbar - Sorry yar Thakur, Tu to Imosnal ho gaya...