Sunday, April 13, 2014

Ye hath mujhe de de Thakur

Gabbar - Ye hath mujhe de de Thakur!
Thakur - Le le bhai
Mere hath le le
Basanti ke hath le le
Jai aur Veeru ke hath bhi le le
Ramu Kaka ke hath bhi le
Aur Actopus ban ja Kutte...

Gabbar - Sorry yar Thakur, Tu to Imosnal ho gaya...

Friday, March 21, 2014

Doctor aur Lady ki Sararat

Doctor to Lady - Aap Jorse Sans lijiye.
Lambi or lambi or tabhi
KHATAK se awaaz aayi...
Doctor - Lagta hai apke gale main Fracture hai.
Lady - Chup chutiye, meri BRA ka hook tut gaya hai...

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Madam aur Pappu

School Main Yoga ki class Main
Madam Yoga Karte Hue Baccho
Se Ek Question Karti Hai...
Madam - "Bacho Bataoo, Main apni Ek
Taang Par Kab aur Kyu Khadi
Hoti Hun?
Jo Bhi Batayega Uske
Practical Main Full Number
Lagaungi...
All Students chup the tabhi Pappu jor se chillaya...
Madam - Bataoo Pappu,
Pappu - Ma’am, Nahane Ke Baad
Underwear Pehanne Ke Time
Aur Utarne Ke Time.

Teacher Shocks, Pappu Rocks

Friday, January 10, 2014

Shararti Dost aur Hosiyar Bhabhi

Pati aur Patni Sexx Kar Rahe The...
Achanak kisi ne Door Bell Bajayi.
Pati ne 5 Min baad Darwaza Khola...
Uska dost aaya hua tha...
Dost - Yaar badi der laga di darwaza kholne main?
Pati - yar Hum log chatni koot rahe the.
Shararti Dost bola - Bhabhi hame bhi Chatni chatao...
Hosiyar Bhabhi - Maine To Bartan Dho Diye Hain, Kootne ke Dande Par Lagi Hogi, Chat Lo.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Pappu aur Ladki ka Ambulance Game

Pappu Ki Ek Ladki Se Kafi Time Se
Setting Chal Rahi Thi,
-
Bahut Manane Ke Baad Vo Ladki Sex Ke Liye
Razi Hui.
-
Pappu Ne Sham Ko Use Apne Ghar par
Bulaya Aur Bola.
-
Pappu - Chal Aaj Ambulance-Ambulance Game Khelte Hai
Ladki - Arey Ye Kaun sa Game Hai?
Maine To Iska Naam pahali bar Suna hai
-
-
Pappu Muskurate Hue:
Arey Bada Simple game Hai, Main Apna
Tumhare Mein Dalunga,
Jab Tumhe Dard Ho
Aur Tum Mujhe Rokna Chaho
-
-
To
-
-
Bolna Red Light
-
Ladki Kuch Sochne Ke Boli - Theek Hai
-
-
Pappu Ne Jaise Hi Apna Uske Ander
Dala aur 2-3 Dakke Diye To
-
Uski Dard Ke Maare Fatt Gayi
-
Aur Chillane Lagi 'Red Light'
-
Red Light Ufff?..
-
Red Light Ohh..
-
Red Light "Haaye main Mar Gayi.
-
Arey Ruko To Sahi??
-
-
Pappu Shaitani Hasi Hanste Hue
Bola :
-
Arey behan ki lodi,
-
-
-
Ambulance Bhi Kabhi Red Light Par
Rukti Hai kya...

Mast jokes and Chutkule

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Master Ka Dil Padhane Ka Nahi Kar Raha Tha

Garmi Ki Wajah Se Master Ka Dil Padhane Ka Nahi Kar Raha Tha
To wo Baccho Se Idhar Udhar Ke Sawal Puch Ke Time Paas Karne Lag Gaya...
Pappu Ki Bari Aayi To Usne Pucha.
Master - Agar Tum Ek Jungle Mein Ho Aur Wahan par Sher Aa Jaye To Tum Kya Karoge?
Pappu - Ji Simple, Mein Ped Per Chadd Jaunga
Master - Han, Agar vo Sher Bhi Ped Per Chadd Jaye To?
Pappu - To Main Pani Mein Kood Jaunga...
Master - Aur Agar Wo Sher Bhi Pani Main Aa Jaye To?
-
Pappu Ne Muskurate Hue Master Se Puchha - "Master Ji, Sher Ko Apni Behan Di Hui Hai Kya Jo Usi Ki Side Liye Ja Rahe Ho"

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Stupid Science ke Chutkule

SCIENCE kahta hai ki paani ubalne se uske kitanu mar jate hai..
-
-
Par Science ko ye nahi pata ki kitanu ke marne ke baad unki
-
'Dead Bodies' to Paani main hi reh jati hai..
-
Stupid Science

Friday, November 8, 2013

Santa ka Condom Gift for Girlfriend

Santa - Jaldi se Ek Condom dena, Girl friend ko gift dena hai..
Dukandaar - Is par gift cover chada du kya?
-
Santa - Are nahi ye cover hi to hai. Gift to mere paas hai.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Happy Diwali to you

Happy Diwali to You and Your Family...

Happy Diwali to Dad
Happy Diwali to Mom
Happy Diwali to my sister
Happy Diwali to all

<><><><><>

Phool ki suruvaat kali se hoti hai,
Zindagi ki suruvaat pyar se hoti hai,
Pyar ki suruvaat apno se hoti hai aur
apno ki suruvaat aapse hoti hai.
Happy Diwali 2013!

<><><><><>

Kumkum bhare kadmon se,
Aaye Laxmi Jee apke duwar,
Sukh sampati mile aapko apaar,
Diwali ki subhkamnain kare sweekar...
Happy Deepawali

<><><><><>

Is diwali par hamari dua hai ki apka har sapnna pura ho
duniya ke unche mukam apke ho
shoharat ki bulandiyan par naam apka ho!
Wish u a very Happy Diwali!

<><><><><>

Diwali ke Is Mangal Avsar par
Aap Sabhi ki Manokamna Puri ho
Khushiyan Apke Kadam Chume
Isi Kamna ke Saath aap Sabhi ko
Diwali ki Dhero Badhaiyan...

Happy Diwali Wishes

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Baba Sakru ka Manglasutra aur Kamasutra

Baba SAKRU Se Unki Ek Nayi Bani Cheli Ne Pucha
Cheli - "Baba Ji, Ye Manglasutra Ka Kya Use hota Hai"
Baba Ji - "Ye License Hai Kamasutra Ko Bina Condom Ke Enjoy Karne Ka"
Cheli - "Wah Ye To Pata Hi Nahi Tha, Aur phir iss Condom Ka Kya Use hota Hai"
Baba Ji - "Ye Ek License Hai Kamasutra Ko Bina Manglasutra Ke Enjoy Karne Ka..."

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Umar 80 ki or Dil bachpan ka

Umar 80 ki...par Dil bachpan ka

Dadu pappu se.. Beta zara andar se mere daant (teath) le aa..

Pappu - Dadu lekin abhi khana nai bana hai..

Dadu - Nai nai beta khane ke liye nai.. wo saamne wali building main teri aunty ko Smile dena hai...

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Zindgi Main Do Cheeze Samaj main Nahi Aayi

Zindgi Main Do Cheeze Samaj main Nahi Aayi Aaj Tak

Pehli - Ladkiyon Ki Jeans Main Zip Ka Kya Kaam Hai??

Doosri - Jab Unke Paas Kuch Pakadne Ke Liye Hai Hi
Nahi To Wo Bathroom
Jane Ke Baad Hath Kyo Dhoti Hai?

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Ek Bar Ek Chuha Ped Par Chad Gaya

Ek bar ek Chuha ped par chad gaya.
Monkey : ped par kyun aaya.
Chuha : are chiku khane aya hun yaar.
Monkey : Abe Ghonchu ye to Aam ka ped hai...
Chuha : Zindagi main ek baat yaad rakhna
Chutiye, majdoor ko khodna aur baap
ko Thokna mat sikha..
-
Main Chiku sath lekar aaya hun...

Mast Chuha

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Sharabi aur Pujari

Ek Sharabi Sarab Pee kar ghar jaa raha tha...
Raste main Mandir ke bahar Pujari dikha.
Sharabi ne pujari se poocha, sabse bada kaun?
Pujari ne peecha chudane ke liye kaha "Mandir Bada"..
Sharabi bola - Mandir bada to dharti pe kaise khada
Pujari : "Chalo bhai Dharti badi"
Sharabi : "Dharti badi to Sheshnaag pe kyun khadi"
Pujari : "Sheshnaag bada"
Sharabi : "Sheshnaag bada to Shiv ke gale main kyon pada"
Pujari : "Chalo bhai Shiv bada"
Sharabi : "Shiv bada to Parbat par kyon khada"
Pujari : "Parbat bada"
Sharabi : "Parbat bada to Hanuman ki ungli pe kyon pada"
Pujari : "Hanuman bada"
Sharabi : "Hanuman bada to Ram ki charno main kyon pada"
Pujari : "Ram bada"
Sharabi : "Ram bada to Ravan ke piche kyun pada"
Pujari : "Arey mere baap tu bata kaun bada"
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Sharabi : "Is duniya main wo bada jo Puri bottle pee ke apni taango pe khada"

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Bechara Ladka

Ek Ladka Apni Padoos ki Aunty ko
ghar chodne gaya...
-
Late ho gaya to Aunty ne bola
-
-
Beta raat bahut ho gai hai,
tum yahi BITTU ke room main so jao.!
-
-
Ladka bola - Nahi Aunty main
yahi SOFA par so jaunga
-
-
Agle din Subah ek Bahut hi
Sundar Ladki CHAI le kar aai..
-
-
Ladka - Aap kaun ho..??
-
-
Ladki - Main BITTU. Aap kaun..??
-
-
-
-
-
Ladka - Main Ullu ka pattha..

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Pappu ki Naukri

Pappu ko Fire brigade main naukari mil gayi
-
-
Ek Lady ne call kiya : hello mere ghar par aag lagi
hai
-
-
Pappu : Apne Pani daala....??
Lady : Haa, par aag bujhi nahi...
-
-
Pappu : pagal, fir hum aa kar kya
karenge...????
Hum bhi to pani hi dalenge na...

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Jija Sali ke Jokes in Hindi

Apni Sali Ke Saath Sax Karne Ke Baad Jija Bola
Jija : Tum Apni Didi Se Zyada Majaa Deti Ho

Sali Udaass Hote Hue : Dekhiye Na Jijaji, Fir Bhi Mere Pati Kahte Hai Tumhari Didi Jyada Maja Deti Hai...

*******

Jija Sali Se Puchta Hai - Jab Tum Ladkiya Susu Karti Ho To Seeti Ki Awaj Kyu Nikalti Hai..
Sali Sharmate Hue - Kyunki Hamare Pass Tum Logo Ki jase Silencer Nahi Laga Hota Na.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Chutkule for Kids

Aaj Ke Bacche..
-
-
Postman knocked the Door..
-
-
A Kid came with cigrate in mouth &
Beer in hand..
-
Postman :"Beta Papa hain.. kya
-
-
-
Kid : "Abe Bhootni Ke, Mujhe Dekh Ke
Lagta Hai ki Baap Ghar pe Hoga...

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Santa ke Majedar Chutkule

Ek Bar Santa Ne Socha,
Bhagwan Ki Toh Sab Pooja Karte Hain,
Kyu Na Mai Shaitan Ki Pooja Karu...?
Ho sakta hai wo free ho aur meri wishes puri kar de.
Santa ne 1 year tak Tapsya ki...
After 1 year,
Shaitan uske samne aaya...

Shaitan : Vats mai tumse khush hua...
3 vardan maang lo..
Santa : Nahi mujhe 100 vardan chahiye

Shaitan : Vats mai kewal 3 de sakta hu...
lena hai to le nahi to mai chala.
Santa : (ek minute soch kar) aacha aapke hath
main jo Gada hai vo danda ban jaye.

Shaitan : Tauhastu, ab dusri wish bolo?

Santa : Is dande ko apni pichhe daal lo, andar tak...

Shaitan : (confused) Tathastu, aab jaldi se
tisri mang saale bahut dard ho raha hai..

Santa : Smiles & says, Haramkhor,
ab bol baki 97 wishes dega ya fir is
dande ko andar hi 'Gada' banwa du

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Majedar Hindi Chutkule and Hindi Jokes

Majedar Hindi Chutkule and Hindi Jokes

Ek bar Ek Chuha Ped Par Chadd Gaya...
Monkey : Ped par kyun aaya...
Chuha : Are Chiku khane aya hun yaar.
Monkey : Abe Ghonchu ye to Aam ka Ped(tree) hai.
Chuha : Zindagi me ek baat yaad rakhna Chutiye, 
Majdoor ko Khodna Aur Baap ko Thokna Mat Sikha....
Main Chiku sath lekar aaya hun...

***********

Ladka ek Ladki ka Peecha kar raha tha...
-
-
-
Girl : Tumhe pata hai, Peeche Meri Maa aa rahi hai...
-
-
-
Ladka : Tu Tension Na Le Hum Khandani Aashiq hai,
-
Teri Maa ke Peechey Mera Baap Aa Raha hai...

***********

Ek Andha Police Main Bharti Hone Ke Liye Gaya,
Officer Ne Pucha Tumhe Hum Kis Liye Rakhe ?
Andhe Ne Fauran Jawab Diya
Andha-Dhund Firing Ke Liye...

***********

Ragging ke Waqt Ladko ne ek Ladki se kaha
Ek sawal ka Jawab do,
Patna kaha hai ?
Ladki : Bihar main.
Boys : Yahi PAT jao itna dur jaane ki kya jarurat hai..!

***********

Ek ladka fail hua to uske papa ne kaha
-
dekh-dekh , padosh ki ladki ko dekh, wo
tumhare sath padhti hai,
-
1st aayi hai...
-
-
-
Boy - Usiko dekh-dekh ke to fail hua hoon PAPA...

***********

Father - Agar is bar tum exam main fail hue to mujhe papa mat kehna...
After exam
Father - how is ur result?
-
Son - Dimag ka dahi mat kar CHUNILAL tu baap ka haq kho chuka hai...

Monday, May 20, 2013

Lady Murge Wale Se...

Lady Murge wale se : Koi Accha sa Murga dikhao?
Murge wale ne Murga dikhaya
Lady (uske niche hath laga ke) : Ye hydrabad ka hai,
koi aur dikhao...
2nd Murge ke Niche bhi hath laga ke : Ye Kerala ka hai...
3rd Murge ke Niche bhi hath laga ke : Yes, ye gujrat ka
hai De do...
-
-
-
Paise dene ke baad
Lady : Tum kaha ke ho ?
-
-
-
MURGE WALA (Sharmate hue) : Ab mai kya batau, aap khud hi check karlo...

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Duniya Ka Sabse Dirty Joke

Ladka aur Ladki dono hans rahe the tabhi Ladki achanak Se chup ho jati hai..
-
Ladka : Kya hua?
Ladki : Kuch nahi
Ladka : Batao na kuch to hua?
-
-
Ladki : Wo hanstey-2 meri thodi si potti nikal gayi...

Smile Pls

Ladka aur Ladki ke Chutkule

Ek Ladka Ek Ladki ka peecha kar raha tha.
-
-
-
Girl - Tumhe pata hai, peeche meri Maa aa rahi hai..
-
-
-
-
Ladka - Tu Tension mat Le Hum Khandani Aashiq hai,
-
Teri maa ke peechey mera Baap aa raha hai..

**********

Ek Ladka rojana kothe par jakar bhaav puchta tha
Dost : Jab tujhe kuch karna hi nahi hai to tu rate Qu puchta hai,

Ladka : Main chek karta hu ki GF mehangi to nai pad ri..

*************

Girl to boy : Main tumhe apna Dil nahi de sakti.
-
Boy to girl : Main utne upar ki soch bhi nahi raha tha!

*************

Ladke Ne Ek Din Apni Girlfriend Ko Kaha

Ladka : "Janu, Kya Main Tumhe Ek Kiss Kar Sakta Hun?"

Ladki : "Condom Laye Ho Kya?"

Ladke Ko Samajh Na Aaya To Usne Puchha

Ladka : "Arrey, Kiss Karne Ke Liye Condom Ki Kya Jarurat Hai?"

Ladki : "Achha, Sharif To Aise Ban Rahe Ho Jaise Kiss Karne Ke Baad Khade Hathiyar Pe Meri Panty Tangoge?"

*************

Ladka Ladki Sex kar rahe the..
Suddenly ladka bola kya hum sadi kar lein?
Ladki boli mazdur ho! Mazduri karo
Factory ke malik banne ki kosis mat karo...

Ladka aur Ladki ke Jokes

Friday, April 19, 2013

Bhoot ka Joke


Do Bhoot Apas main baat kar rahe the...
Bhoot1 : Tu kaise mara.
Bhoot2 : Friz ki Thand se,
aur tu kaise mara
bhoot1 :  Patni pe shak tha.
Pura ghar dunda par Ashik
nahi mila.
Sarm se sucide kar li.
Bhoot1 : Friz khol deta to
dono bach jate....

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Raj Apne Tumko Batati Gayi


Raj Apne Tumko Batati gayi
Najdik Dil ke yu aati gayi,

Har dam rahata tera hi khayal
yu khuaab dil ke sajati gayi,

Bandish to na thi tere payar main
Bandhan main kase samati gayi,

Manzil ko pane ki hi chah main
Kadamo ko apne badhati gayi,

Tum jo mile Zindgi main Priye
Duniya main apni basati gayi...



Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Yoga ke Side Effect


Ek bar ek Budhe Aadmi ki death ho gayi... 99 ki Age paar kar Marne ke baad jab wo swarg main pahuncha to Sunder Apsaraon ko dekh kar Larajte hue Bola...
-
BaBa Ramdev ke chakkar main na pada hota to 30 Saal pahale yaha aa gaya hota...

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Best Love Shayari in Hindi

Kisi aur ki bahon mein rahakar
Wo humse wafa ki batain karte hai
Ye kaisi chahat hai yaro,
Wo bewafa hai jankar bhi,
HUM UNHI SE PYAR KARTE HAI..

************

Ishq Aisa Karo Ki Dhadkan Main Bas Jaaye,
Saans Bhi Lo To Khushbu Usi Ki Aaye,
Pyaar Ka Nasha Aankhon Par Chaa Jaaye,
Baat Kuch Bhi Na Ho Par Naam Usi Ka Aaye..

************

Muskan ka koi mol nahi hota,
kuch rishton ka koi tol nahi hota,
dost to mil hi jate hai har raste par,
Lekin har koi aapki tarah anmol nahi hota..

************

Pyar Karne Ka Hunar Hamein Nahi Aata,
Isliye Pyar Ki Baazi Hum Haar Gaye,
Hamari Zindagi Se Unhe Bahut Pyar Tha,
Shayad Isiliye Wo Hamein Zinda hi Maar Gaye..

************

Kisi Ko Apna Banane Main Der Lagti Hai,
Kiya Hua Waada Nibhane Main Der Lagti Hai,
Pyaar To Pal Bhar Main Ho Jaata Hai,
Par Unhe Bhulane Main Sari Umar Bhi Kam Pad Jaati Hain…

Sad Shayari in Hindi

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Suhagrat Ki Baat

Suhagraat ko ladka Kamre main aaya or bola kapde utaro...
Dulhan ne Apne Kapde utare... Ladka kaam pura kar ke bola,

Apne kapde pehan lo jaldi se... Dulha aane wala hai...

*********

Traffic Policewali ki sadi hui,
Suhagraat
ke dusre din
Pati se 500Rs. Zurmana Manga.
.
.
Pati -kis chij ka ?
.
Patni -100Rs over speed ke
300Rs wrong side ke Aur 100Rs bina helmet ke...

*********

Suhagrat ke time darvaze pe dastak hoti hai to Dulhan bhag ke Parde ke Peeche Chup jati hai...
 Husband : Kya hua?
Dulhan: Mujhe laga Police ki raid par gai...

*********

Suhagrat Ko Pati Ke Ander Guste Hi Biwi Ne Apna Blouse Utar Diya...
Pati Ye Dekh Kar Bada Hairan Hua Aur Biwi Se Pucha?
Pati : "Arrey Tumne Mere Aate Hi Apna Blouse Kyu Utaar Diya?"
Biwi Sharmate Hue : "Ji, Aapki Bhabi Ne Kaha Tha Ki Jaate Hi Apne Pati Ko...
Dudh Zarur Pila Dena"

*********

Ek Bahut Hi khubsoorat pataka Madam College Mein Bachho Ko Samjha Rahi thi...
Madam - Sachhe Dil Se Maangi Cheej Jaroor Milti Hai...
Pappu Ye Sun Kar Haste Hue Bola...
Mam Agar Aisa Hota To Ab Tak,
-
-
Aap Class Ke 30 Bachho Ke Sath Na Jane Kitni Bar Suhagrat Mana Chuki Hoti...

*********

Nayi Dulhan Ko Dulhe Ne Suhagrat Par Muh Dikhai Ke Rs 25,000 Diye...
Dulhan Itne Sare Paise Dekh Kar Ghabra Ke Boli...
Dulhan : "Suno Ji Pura Khandaan Thokega Kya?"

*********

Ek 75 saal ka buddhe ne 15 saal ki ladki se shadi ki, Suhagrat par dono khub roye...
Kyoki ladki kuch janti nahin thi aur bhuda sab bhul gaya tha...

*********

Sardar ne apni biwi ko
Shadi ki raat hi ghar se Bhaga diya...
-
kyoki..
-
Biwi ki panty pe ye likha hua tha..."100% soft and silky tested by roopchand and sons"

*********

Ek bar Aankh or Dil me Ladai ho gai...
DIL - Dekhte tum ho or dard hamein hota hai...
AANKH - Lagte tum ho or rote hum hain....
GAAL - Kamino!!! Thappad To Mein Khata Hu Na...

*********

Ladies hostel warden calls electricity office & complains: 
Aaj to aadmi bhej do, ladkiyan 3 din se Mombatti se kaam chala rahi hain....

*********

Ek Ladka aur Ladki dono jungle Main bhatk gaye... Dono ne 4 din se kuch bhi nahi khaya..
Girl - Aap Mera rape kar do...
Boy - kyu ?
Girl - Saala kuch to ander jayga...

*********

Sardar Suhagraat ko puri koshish ke bavjud kamyab na hua.
Guusse se Wife se bola..
Tumari pehle kisi ne nai li?
Wife : Masumiyat se,
Jis ne bhi li, shalwar utar k li!

*********

Ek Aadmi Ki Shadi Hui, Us Ne Dost Se Mashwara Liya Ki Apni Biwi Ka Dil Kese Jeete?
Dost : Us Ke Paas Cigratte Laga Ke Jana Aur Dhuaan Biwi Ke Muh Pe Maar Ke Kehna – Janu Agar Tum Kaho To Ye Adat Bhi Chod Doon,
Us Admi Ne Aisa Hi Kiya….
Biwi Ne Sun Kar Jawab Diya : Nahi, Koi Baat Nahi Agar Gold Flake Hai To Mujhe Bhi Sootta Lagwa Do...

*********

Dulha (Romantically) : May I kiss you Darling?
Dulhan (Sharmate Hue) : Humne to kabhi Gairo ko bhi mana nahi kiya. Aap to phir bhi apne hain...

*********

Suhaagrat Ki Raat Ko Dulha-Dulhan Se Puchhta Hai.
Dulha - "Sach-Sach Bata Kabhi Kiya Hai Ki Nahi?"

Dulhan - "Nahi Jaanu, Kabhi Kiya Nahi, Mane to Hamesha Karwaya Hai"

Suhagrat ki Baat

Monday, January 14, 2013

Pati aur Patni ke Majedar Chutkule

Patni - Janu Tum Mujhe Waise Pyar nhi karte jaise Shahrukh Khan Kajol se film me krta hai...
Pati - Wo Pyar krane ke 12 Crore leta hai aur Tere Baap ne kabhi 200 nai diye.

*********

Wife Ne Shadi Ke Do Saal Bad Apne Pati Se Raat Ko Pucha.
wife - Main tumko Kitni Acchhi Lagti Hoon?
Husband - Bahut Hi Acchhi
Wife - "Phir Bhi Kitni?"
Husband - Itni Ki mera Dil Chahta Hai Tumhari Jaisi 2-3 Aur Le Aaun...

**********

Sardar - Meri biwi mujhe chod ke chali gayi...
Sonu - Tu us ka khayal nahi rakhta ho ga..
Sardar - yar sagi bahan ki tarah rakhta tha.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Santa aur Banta ke Majedar Chutkule

Santa - Papa Pados ki girl ko English Nahi Aati....!
Papa- Beta aisa nahi bolte, or tumhe kaise pata?
-
-
-
-
Santa - Maine usse kaha, give me a sweetest Kiss,
or
Usne Thapd maar diya, 
Anpad gawaar saali.

****************

Santa ka Interview :
Batao wo kaun si Aurat hai jisko
100% pata hota hai ki uska
Husband kaha hai?
-
-
Santa ne apna khatarnak dimag lagaya
Aur bola
-
-
-
-
"Vidhwa Aurat"...

****************

Ek bar Santa ke sath uski biwi market ghumne gayi... Raste main uski Biwi boli.. dekho na us aadmi ko mujhe kase lagatar Ghuur raha hai....
Santa - Darling ! wo to kabadi wala hai, Bekar maal par nazar rakhna uski Aadat hai...

****************

Santa : Yeh doctor log operation karne se pehle Patient ko behosh kyun karte hain,
Banta : Kahi patient khud operation karna seekh na le is liye...

****************

Santa : Jab main mar jaon to samne wali family ko zaroor bulana...
Banta : kyun?
Santa : Yaar unke ghar ki ladies murde se lipat lipat kar roti hain...

****************

Santa daru pee ke Tala kholne laga, hath kapne ki vajah se tala nahi khula,
Banta - Mai khol du,
Santa - Mai khol lunga, Tu bas ghar ko pakad, sala bahut hil raha hai...

***************

Santa ki shaadi ke 3 mahine baad hi beta ho gaya.
Santa : Ye 3 mahine me bacha kaise ho gaya..??
Biwi : Aapki shadi ko kitna time hua hai..??
Santa : 3 mahine.
Biwi : Aur meri shadi ko..??
Santa : 3 mahine.
Biwi : Aur bachcha kitne time baad hua..??
Santa : 3 mahine baad.
Biwi : Total kitne mahine ho gaye..??
Santa : Ohh, 9 mahine ho gaye! time ka pata hi nahi laga?!!